The Royal Wedding...

Yes I got sucked into the pomp and circumstance of this historic event. Maybe because my wedding is only two weeks away and this wedding is the ultimate fantasy. I would never want to live that life- everyone watching your every move and thinking they know everything about you- but it was a beautiful wedding.

I thought her dress was classic and lovely. My mom has always talked about Grace Kelly- she thinks she is the ultimate icon of beauty and class. We noticed that Kate's dress is so much like Grace Kelly's wedding dress.

All of this has made me realize I have a ton to do with my wedding plans! On Friday I finally got my wedding dress (diet is still needed although now it does zip!) and we went downtown to get our marriage license. If feels very official now. I also started working on my party favors.

I bought spice jars from Ikea and I have been hoarding M&Ms for months. I have mint, normal, and peanut butter M&Ms. I also put little stickers on the jars with my new last name inital. It's amazing what you can do on your own! I really love these little jars.

Now I have started tying the ribbons on. The ribbon matches the bridesmaid's dresses but I was eleven jars short. Now I have to stalk Micheal's stores until I find another spool of the correct color! I finally have my final head count so I made a starter seating chart. My mom is now busy editing it because seating charts make me go crazy. Hopefully I can figure out a creative way to make the seating chart so people will know which table to sit at.

It seems like the big day is right around to corner and  time is flying by. All these little details are time consuming but I kind of enjoy doing them. It feels like I am putting in little pieces of me. I mean, really, what else would I give as a party favor but sweets!

Birthday

This Monday was my birthday. I now understand why people always say time moves faster as you get older. I have officially arrived at the age where birthdays are just another day. I had my internship and a job interview on my birthday this year. At least I got to have a nice dinner with my fiance- steak, yum! But think about life when we were little- slumber parties, cakes, choosing a fun theme. Now birthdays are really not that exciting, especially when you are a broke graduate student : )

At least I got a good birthday gift from the fiance. Since we have started dated he has started to read books, mostly due to my instance that books are great. We have outgrown several bookcases since our obsession with books began (my obsession just began at a much younger age). One day we would love to have a whole library room- which will probably never happen on a social worker budget but... one can dream. Anyway this year he got me a book I have wanted for several months from Barnes and Noble.

Barnes and Noble is making classic books with a hard back leather cover and bind and gold leaf pages. How cool is this book?? They have tons of other classic book also and I am pretty sure I need all of them. I want To Kill a Mockingbird and they have several fairy tale sets including Brothers Grimm and Hans Christian Anderson. All the covers are so interesting and unique. Plus we are horrible about imagining reading these books to our kids. Not that kids are anywhere in my plans for now...but one day these will be great books to read for bedtime.

I am not the best at thinking of gifts for a specific person but my finance is great at remembering things I have asked for. This book is something most people would not know to get me but I absolutely love it. I am glad that he knows this book means more to me than a piece of jewelry or some other "girl gift". His gifts always make me realize what a lucky girl I am and how well he knows me.

Sweets

I have never been a big party type of person. On the other hand, my vice is definitely sweets. I have never found a dessert I don't like. I mean ever! (OK- maybe one, I don't like the texture of coconut) It is kind of a problem. The finance does not like sweets as much as me

Problem #1: he does not like cheesecake. More specifically he does not like cream cheese period. This is a huge problem. I love cheesecake, I could eat cheesecake everyday for the rest of my life and become a happy bloated beached whale. My birthday cakes growing up were cheesecakes. I have tons of yummy cheesecake recipes and I don't make any of them because fiance thinks it's yucky.

But think about it, since he does not like cream cheese that takes out cream cheese frosting- no red velvet! no carrot cake! no cheesecake!! (oh I already said that)

Problem #2- He is also not a big cake fan in general. He thinks icing is "too sweet". Really what is wrong with this kid! I beg for corners because, obviously, the more icing the better! (especially if it is cream cheese frosting!) In the south tradition calls for a groom's cake. Since he is not really a cake guy my mom came up with a new idea.

Our "groom's cake" is going to be chocolate chip cookies and shot glasses of milk. He could turn into cookies and milk. During the week he eats two or three bags of cookies and multiple gallons of milk. It's a good thing he is 6'5! I liked that this idea was a little part of him. All of our friends and families know he is the cookie monster and I think this will be a cute touch. I can't believe it is only about 3 more weeks till the wedding! This year has gone by so quickly, but I am getting very excited! 

*And don't worry I am still getting my real wedding cake with pounds of buttercream frosting : )

It is ending...

School is coming to an end. Many of my family members think I should go on to get a Doctorate. I am still unsure of that one. But the program I am currently in is almost over. Yesterday I even had my large capstone paper printed and bound and last week I had my presentation.

The presentation scared the crap out of me. I am usually OK with presenting, but I have never had to talk for thirty minutes before and that was a new terror. Plus I had done so much research on sexual abuse that it was hard to cut the information down to thirty minutes. On a good note I got an A, on a bad note I feel like I must have sounded like a crazy person per my teacher's comments:

If you feel you have to rush because you have too much information for the time allotted, then cut down on the amount of content!

Be careful to realize the sensitive and shocking nature of your subject material. Perhaps since you are so familiar with it, maybe you have become somewhat desensitized to what it is that you do. (worst comment yet!)

Conversationally, you are normally a fast, energetic talker. However, your presentation felt rushed, punctuated with you quickly taking breaths.

So basically I think I looked like this:

oh well, I know I shouldn't care because overall I got an A. I like to freak out about things.

Today I have a job interview so hopefully I will breath normally there! If I was to know I had a job before we got married I can't even explain how much better I would feel. It would be like a cocoon of warm job security. I admit I am slightly crazy about finances. I tend to worry quite a bit about whether or not we will "make it". I also don't want to be the moocher wife with no job. So wish me luck today and send up a prayer for my security blanket (i.e employment).

Social Work

The last week has been absolutely crazy. Hence no updates. I have to present my capstone this week- a 30 minute presentation on childhood sexual abuse which my parents and finance have invited themselves to. This weekend I tried to spring clean and then the washing machine broke. I am so sore from all that work it is ridiculous. Today at internship I caught up on cases and I decided to write my last real essay. The paper is for my favorite professor and it is supposed to address the meaning of getting my MSW. I like what I wrote and I thought I would add it here for fun. It's kind of long compared to my normal posts but I hope you enjoy:
           

     Compared to other students the story of how I decided to go to graduate school may be a little different. During undergraduate as I was pursuing my Bachelor of Social Work I knew I wanted my Masters degree also. I am not sure what held me back from immediately going to graduate school but I decided to work for Child Protective Services instead. Looking back, sometimes I feel like this was the easy choice for me. It seemed like the stable way to go, mainly because of the pay check, even though I knew that I wanted to be a clinical social worker.

            In many ways my experience with CPS is not something I would trade. I learned plenty about real world social work. I learned what makes a good social worker and what makes a well- not so good social worker. I learned the importance of having a supportive and understanding supervisor. Most importantly, I learned that I love working with children. I felt like I helped these kids and it broke my heart to leave some of them. Although some people think social work is thankless, I knew just getting a foster child to trust me when they had no reason to trust anyone was the best feeling in the world.

            But, I knew I had to leave to do what was right for me and that was for me to get my Master in Social Work so that I can help these kids in a different kind of way, a therapeutic way. Getting my MSW is the best choice I ever made for myself. After working for two years I was ready to learn. I felt like I had paid my dues in the field and now it was my turn to discover, what I knew, would be my passion. I decided to do the one year- advanced standing- program because I knew I could manage it and I wanted to get back into the field the quickest way possible. I have a great group of girls in my cohort and although it has been a strenuous year, it has been a fantastic one.  

During the year I had to do many things I was uncomfortable with, but had to do for myself. I had to change internships because I knew I was not getting what I needed, clinically, in my first placement. I am always afraid to hurt someone’s feelings or burn bridges so I hated this but it was right for me. I started attending therapy on campus so that, when I was a therapist for my clients, I would be emotionally fit myself. I also had to accept that I am who I am. I may not be the typical 24 year old but I am hard-working and trustworthy and I learned to be ok with being the “older” person- in age and attitude- among the girls in my group.

I truly loved learning. Sometimes the papers, tests, and projects were grueling but overall I felt exhilarated. I was learning what I waited to learn for two years. I had some wonderful professors who I truly felt inspired by because of what they had done in the field. I learned about therapy techniques and what works best for child clients. I got a thrill when guest speakers came in and told us about their amazing jobs, jobs that I am now qualified to have. I got to learn about mental health diagnosis from the DSM-IV and cherished every minute of finally getting to learn what makes clients tick.

Overall, I feel like I have gained a wealth of knowledge that I was eager to uncover. I am even eager to take continuing education classes for my license in order to learn more from colleagues who have been in the field for years. I know I have a great deal more to learn in order to hone the craft of counseling but I feel a great sense of accomplishment in that I have not given up on this dream, even when my personal life was falling apart in the middle of it. I have given myself a gift, a gift that no one can take away from me. The gift to do what I have come to love. The gift to help others in their time of crisis and peril. The gift to have a career where I may get paid, but more importantly I will feel fulfillment in doing my passion every day.

Bridal Showers

I have officially completed my three bridal showers that were in the month of March. And since my friends have put pictures up of the events I figured now was a good time to discuss. First of all having showers with yummy food

is not helping out the whole- fitting into my wedding dress situation. You see those two cakes up there- red velvet and chocolate cake! I had to bring those home and since there are starving children in Africa I had to eat them. It's a rule.

Secondly thanks to the power of technology my mother, in Texas, attended my shower, in Georgia. Prepare yourself for this picture

seriously creepy right? My body less mother had lots of fun though. She even got to show us all updates of the renovations on her house. I felt like we were the Jetson's or something.

Lastly though, I loved my showers. I got to be with friends and family and I received more gifts then should ever be legal. I had lovely hostesses for my multiple showers:

 My cousin Jennifer to the left and my cousin-in-law Angie to the right. The family shower is always the most comfortable!

Caroline, in the yellow, is my fiance's best friend's wife. She let my friends and family who are in town invade her home for this shower. My friends Stefanie and Anna Grey also helped. I forgot to get a picture of all of us together. (in the background is Laura, another one of my fiance's best friends wives, who is checking the Carolina basketball games scores- Welcome to North Carolina!)

And lastly are all of these lovely ladies from my shower in Texas. Well everyone minus one and plus my mom. We had to many helpers for one photo!!

Shawn and I already have a huge head start on making our place look nice and "adult"-by adult I mean having more than one plate that matches or sheets in one color. I can't wait to have our own place and put out all of our pretty gifts and remember these good times with family and friends. Right now I am hoarding them in boxes so they cannot be contaminated by the current living conditions. More on that later...

Wedding Planning

The saying goes, every little girl dreams of their wedding day. Apparently by the time you reach my age you are supposed to know every little detail of what you want the wedding to look like. Well something must have happened in my female genetic code- because wedding planning is not my idea of fun.

Don't get me wrong- I can't wait for our wedding day but I am over planning it. I am horrible at decisions first of all. Do you have any idea how many decisions you have to make when you are the bride?? The cake, the photographer, the flowers, the caterer, the venue- those are the easy choices. Then you have seven thousand nit-picky little things. I never even thought so many little things existed.

For example-the reception. My grandmother antiques and mostly sells china so we decided to use her china as the reception place settings. I have 12 boxes of china in my extra bedroom- but then you need centerpieces. We are doing flowers on our own so we have had to play with vases and estimate how many flowers we will need. Then you need cake and since I'm southern- a groom's cake. So we had to choose the way the cake should look. Our grooms cake is actually chocolate chip cookies- so we had to try different recipes of that. Although all of this is not exactly hard it is time consuming and difficult when you are bad at decisions.

I have begged people to choose things for me. I wanted my dad to plan the wedding ceremony and make the programs- I mean he is a Minister of Music. But no, I have to choose- "it's my wedding". AHHH! And you have to be in charge of making sure your groomsmen and bridesmaids get their dresses, make party favors, get a marriage license, think about guest book options, and ultimately offend someone somehow.

In conclusion: I recommend eloping- that is if you are anti-female like me!