About Me

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Charlotte, North Carolina
I am starting out my social work career and my marriage. I write to relieve stress...mostly by sarcastically telling life stories.

Thursday, September 8, 2011


Can you pretend to be someone you are not? I struggle with this question frequently. I am not someone who is good at “faking it”. You can read emotions off my face like a book. There is no secret Meredith- I am who I am.
In middle school I went through a time where I was just alone. I was never bullied- I was more ignored than anything. Other girls found boys and partying and I was left in the dust. By the time I changed schools to my high school I basically was at the point where I said screw this- like me or don’t.
Probably I really did still care but I no longer faked it. I was me- good or bad- and I made friends again. Maybe the smell of desperation was just off me. Now at work I have the same feeling.
How can you function at a job where the skill set needed is a complete 180 from the personality you have? Can you fake it? I guess that is what I keep thinking about everyday.
When I found out that I could be a therapist it was like a click was within me. I knew it was right for me. I am a good listener and through the years I have found that it is better to be supportive then constantly voice your own opinion about everything.
Yesterday, I sat with a little boy who had just had a meltdown. I got in the floor with him and calmed him down. I got him to tell me his feelings- granted they were kind of homicidal- but within a few minutes he was back to his normal self. And I loved every minute of it.
So can I fake the bulk of my day so I can catch these little glimpses of therapy? It is just a struggle everyday. Having to pretend to be someone you are not feels like an out of body experience. It makes me very uncomfortable and I am still trying to manage. I still keep praying to figure this out- my feelings and my future.


  1. Meredith, you were made to be a therapist.

    I'm not 100% sure I know what your job really is... we seriously need to catch up!

  2. Doesn't sound like this job is the 'right fit'; so, I'd worry more if you weren't 'faking it'. Unfortunately, it can be the price one pays...at first. I know you will find the work you desire. This experience will actually guide you in making the right decision. You will see....(hopefully soon!) Hang in there!