30 Day Challenge- Day #30

30. List 5 things you would hope to be remembered for?

Oh my gosh, I am so excited this is my last challenge day. This has been way more difficult than I thought it was going to be.

I hope that I will have a family that will remember me. I hope to have kids, grand kids, my husband- I don't want him to die first! I think the biggest thing you can leave behind is happy, healthy children. Another generation.

I want to know that I helped people. I have never been a huge career person but I still feel that being a child therapist is a passion. Hopefully, there will be children out there who learned how to change because of what I taught them.

I wish I had three more. Really, I don't want to be "known" for much. All I care about is knowing that I have made my family happy and maybe, as a bonus, I've helped someone.

Happy Thursday,

30 Day Challenge- Day #29

29. What do you think people misunderstand most about you?

I suppose that people think I am a bitch. Ha ha- great first line. I am not the most open person. Most people who know me now tell me that I gave off a, "leave me alone" attitude before they started talking to me.

I tend to have a lot of anxiety around new people and I come off kinda mean. Don't get me wrong, some people do irritate the crap outta me. I don't have tons of friends because I tend to only like a certain kind of person. For instance, if you are a girly girl that is super bubbly- I don't really know how to interact with you. It confuses my pessimistic, sarcastic brain.

I think once you get to know me you realize I am pretty laid back and easy to get along with. But- first impressions can be difficult to change. Although, with clients and in an interview setting I am a very good faker. I need to learn to keep that therapy persona on more regularly. That or just stop being scared of new people.

Happy Wednesday,

30 Day Challenge- Day #28

28. What is your love language?

Oh, I love this book! In undergraduate I minored in Sociology and learned about this book. My love language is quality time. I even got this book as a wedding gift from family members. I think I still somehow have multiple copies.

The website defines quality time as: For those whose love language is spoken with Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.

Seriously, if you haven't read this book it really is interesting to find out how your partner communicates. Not to mention- how you communicate without even realizing it.

Happy Tuesday,

30 Day Challenge- Day #27

27. What is your favorite part of your body and why?

Wow- talk about making a girl feel snobby. Plus, what girl really has a favorite part? I am going to go with- anything that doesn't jiggle when I walk. So- I know I have good hair and I like the color of my eyes. What a sad little answer.

I firmly state I have green eyes. They are just dark green so I have to be in sun light for a person to really tell. In Kindergarten I had to draw a picture of myself and I drew the person with green eyes. My teacher attempted to inform me that I had brown eyes. Then I proceeded to argue with her until she left me- and my picture- alone. Ahh, nice to know I was stubborn even at 5 years old.

Not a great picture- but green eyes people! I have crazy face because I am eating lobster. Lobster produces giddy-ness in me. I can't control it.

Happy Monday,

30 Day Challenge- Day #26

26. What popular notion do you think the world has most wrong?

I am not sure if this is a notion- but I think the worst part of society is how everyone is me, me, me nowadays. Not to say that I don't ever act that way. I think everyone is that way to a certain extent. But, it seems like everyone just has an isolated little life where they don't really care about others.

Last week, one of my clients- he is ten years old- just stared at me and asked me why I care about his problems. He truly did not understand why I would try to help him. He even said that his teacher told him to only worry about himself. Really? Who teaches that?

With everything being so technical now- facebook, email, texting- it seems like we have lost human contact. Even at grocery stores- I know I run to the self check out instead of talking to the cashier. When I was little I played outside or used my imagination. I didn't play video games locked in the house all summer. What happened to personal connection?

But hey- I always admitted I'm a flaming liberal.
Happy Sunday,

30 Day Challenge- Day #25

25. If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?

Does anyone else think this is just a dumb question. I mean, really, who cares. Just sayin...

Anyway, I know I should say some famous person- but I don't know them so what's the point. I really would rather see my grandmother again. She is the only grandparent I have lost. Geez, I still have great-grandparents! I would just love to catch up and tell her about my life since she passed away when I was in high school. And what would I eat- a vat of her homemade mac and cheese. Not to mention her chocolate chip pound cake. I still eat these things all the time but they never taste as good as when she made them!

Happy Saturday,

30 Day Challenge- Day #24

24. Describe your family dynamic of your childhood vs. your family dynamic now.

Well, hmm- let's start off with the fact that my parents live 18 hours away from me. Obviously, growing up I lived with them. At least my brother hasn't left me yet. Sorry, I have to rub it in at any opportunity.

I would say that the biggest change is that our relationship is not as parent to child but parent to adult child. That sounds like a subtle change but it should be a large difference. In certain ways I am much closer to them-even with the distance. I distinctly remember my dad sitting me down when I was in college and telling me that, "our relationship will change because I'm not a little kid anymore". I appreciate that my parents have let me grow up. I watch so many people hang on to those apron strings just begging for their kids to never leave childhood. I think that since my parents let me go- I came back.

I still depend on my parents for advice and guidance quite a bit. When you are a kid you look to your parents for everything but as an adult I realized that they gave me the tools to do it myself. Living miles apart has taught us and made us work for our relationship. I have to actually make an effort to see my brother and my parents but it makes you appreciate that bond more. The biggest difference I see is that I don't need my parents anymore- but, instead, I choose to need them.

Happy Friday,

30 Day Challenge- Day #23

23. List your top 3 hobbies and why you love them.

Photography:

God knows why I love it because this DSLR camera stuff still confuses the crap outta me. But, I like the idea of taking fancy pictures I guess.


Crafts:

Cross-stitch, knitting, painting, jewelery- I think I've tried it all. At this point I have realized that crafts are really a coping skill. It is almost a way to turn my brain off and just think creatively. It is a easy way for me to de-stress.


Blogging:

I'm not gonna lie- I still struggle with blogging. I really like it. It is like a journal- that strangers can read. I just have issues with coming up with topics and interesting things to write about!

Happy Thursday,

30 Day Challenge- Day #22

22. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?

In 5 years:

My main thought- is babies. Hopefully, by then I will have my kids- or at least one. In five years I will also have my full therapy license- none of this provisional stuff. I want to feel a little more comfortable in terms of salary by then. I would be really happy if we bought a house in the next 5 years also. I feel like a lot of "big" moments in my life should happen in the next five years. No pressure or anything.

In 10 years:

In 10 years I want to be more confident in myself. I hope to feel that I have learned some life lessons- maybe even learned to live a little more openly. I want to be done with student loan payments and feel like I have started planning for my future better- can we say retirement one day? If I had some kinda dream land I may even grow the guts to have a private practice and choose my own day to day work life. I suppose in ten years I will even have real kids- not the way I think about cuddly babies right now. So, I hope that I have started to teach my kids how to be good, independent, healthy little people.

In 15 years:

I will be 41- creepy!! I want to be settled quite frankly. I want to be living in a home that I love. I want to be with my kids and my husband. I want to be able to take family vacations without worrying about money. I want savings accounts that I can be proud of. I want to feel like I could even be a supervisor at this point and know what I am talking about as a therapist. I think of my 40s as the comfort zone. You aren't really old so life can be fun and you finally, hopefully, have worked your way to a good spot in your career.

Happy Wednesday,

30 Day Challenge- Day #21

21. If you could have one superpower, what would it be and what would you do with it first?

I would have to say the power of flight. Just think how much money we could save not having to pay for airplane tickets to Texas for family time? Not to mention all my dreams of going back to Europe! Think about it, half the reason why Americans think traveling to other countries is so fancy is because of the price of airplane tickets.

Not to mention- the thought of having x-ray vision or being able to hear someone's thoughts gives me the creeps!


Happy Tuesday,

30 Day Challenge- Day #20

20. Describe 3 significant memories from your childhood.

1. Moving to North Carolina:

I lived in Mississippi from about 2 years old until the end of 3rd grade. It was a fairly small town and I was pretty protected. Most people around town knew my family since my dad worked in the largest Baptist church in town. Moving to Charlotte felt like I was moving to NYC. I remember driving downtown and thinking the skyscrapers were a little terrifying. Plus, I had the worlds thickest southern accent- and the kids at my dad's new church just brutalized me by making fun of it. By the end of the summer- I forced myself to loose that accent!

2. Breaking my foot:

This isn't me- but this is what it looked like!

Did I mention that while I was being made fun of for my southern twang I was hobbling around on crutches with a giant blue cast? Plus, can anyone really forget the pain of breaking anything? My little 5 foot 3 inch mom had to carry me into the hospital because I couldn't walk. Then she had to carry me to an orthopedic surgeon to reset the foot- since it was broken on a growth plate. My mom swears that I didn't even call out or scream when they reset it. Just one tiny tear rolled down my cheek. Good to know I was even a bad ass at 9 years old!

3. Disney World:

Quite frankly, I am still kinda obsessed with Disney World. My great grandparents used to own a vacation home down in Orlando. My parents, my brother, and myself took several trips as a family to Disney and I remember great trips. We would fish with my dad in the little pond behind the house. We would spend all day at Disney- my mom and I searching high and low for Minnie. We eventually found her- but only got a pictue of her ear. Very disappointing! I would stuff my face with ice cream and pancakes. I wore 90s fabulous clothes. It was good times.

 Happy Monday!

30 Day Challenge- Day #19

19. If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why?

I have two choices- and they are totally different!!

1. London

I went to London when I was 14 years old and I just fell in love. Again, I'm not so adventurous but I would love the experience of living in Europe. Since I only speak English- my choices are pretty limited. London to me had all the excitement of New York with twice the amount of history and culture. I have always thought it would be fun to live a really big city, especially while young and with no kids.

2. Farm

Or, pretty much anything that looks like this!! My husband and I would love to own a farm. Personally, I have no reason for a farm without horses attached- and a big red barn! I don't know why but a big city and a country home both have equal appeal to me. But then again who said I wasn't weird??

Happy Sunday,

30 Day Challenge- Day #18

18. What has been the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?

Ok- first off I am just gonna refer to Day #6. Isn't this kinda the same question??

The best I will actually give is just day-to-day working life. I work with so many kids that have done such deeply immoral, evil things and yet I am supposed to have empathy and work with them. I have gotten to the point wher being on probation isn't a big deal to me. So you smoke some pot, get suspended from school everyday- well that is just normal client now. I have even worked with sexual perpetrators and- let's just say that is not so fun. But, daily I have to be forgiving to people who may not deserve it so that they can prove they do deserve a change.

Happy Saturday,

30 Day Challenge- Day #17

17. What is the thing you most wish you were great at?

Being open. I mean that in a lot of ways. One- I wish I was a little more free with my life. I wish I wasn't afraid of things- roller coasters, large crowds, being "seen". I am a pretty laid back person but I also struggle with being more of a free spirit.Two- I wish I was more open about my feelings. Although I spend all day telling people what emotions are, recognizing them, and expressing them- I am not particularly good at any of the above in my own life.

Last year, Paul McCartney came to do a show in my town. The Beatles- or any part of them- make me ridiculously happy and yet I didn't go. I was in grad school and I was afraid it was just too much money. This is my constant example in life- once in a lifetime experiences that I am afraid to go out on a limb for. I still regret this! So I just want to- let myself enjoy life more.

Happy Friday!!

30 Day Challenge- Day #16

16. What are your 5 greatest accomplishments?

Graduating with my BSW

I was very proud of my Bachelor degree but I am even more proud of my Masters. The fact that I left school for two years and saved enough money to be able to go back still kinda impresses me. I know that sounds rude but I know it is easy to give up on school once you are out of that system for a while.

As of last week- paying off my car!!! It was my first big purchase as an adult and I am officially done with it. Yay!

Leia was the cutest puppy ever- admit it!

Buying my baby- yes it's dumb but she is my best purchase ever.

I still think we look like the mafia...

Being married for over a year now. Marriage isn't always easy but I can still say it is always worth it.


Actually making it through a year of my provisional therapy license. One more year to go and I will be a full fledged LCSW- licensed clinical social worker.

Happy Thursday,

30 Day Challenge- Day #15

15. If you were an animal, what would you be and why?

I am going to say an elephant. To be honest I have absolutely no reason for saying that except my obsession with them. My husband took me to the circus for two years in a row when we were dating and I just fell in love with them. Literally, I have lots of pictures from the circus but about 90% of them are elephant related.


Happy Wednesday,

30 Day Challenge- Day #14

14. Describe 5 strengths you have.

I am extremely responsible. I always call myself an old lady because of how I live my life.

I am a good listener. I have always had people around me who like to talk to me but as I have gotten older I think I have become even better at this. I have learned to not always give advice but just be supportive instead.

If I set a goal for myself- I am usually pretty good at meeting it. Unless that goal involves sweets- they are out to get me.

I am a good cook- it is also something I really enjoy. If I have a recipe I can pretty much follow it. I still have not accomplished the whole- just throw stuff together thing though.

I like to think I am a pretty good friend, daughter, sister, wife, etc. I try to always be there for people I love. Even if we have a fight I ultimately can't stay mad for long.

Happy Tuesday,

30 Day Challenge- Day #13

13. Describe 5 weaknesses you have.

I am not very good at expressing emotion- which is rather convenient at a therapist. Not...

Once I make my mind up I am set on that decision. Sometimes this is a good thing but at other times I don't think before I act.

I tend to be a perfectionist- doesn't always make living with me much fun :)

I can be judgmental of people who, in my eyes, make dumb decisions. I have always tried to make smart decisions because I never wanted anyone disappointed in me-so I have a hard time understanding free spirits. Although, I sure do love a lot of those people!

I have anxiety about life quite a bit. I have a hard time not looking at the big picture. It would be much better if I could live day by day a little more.

Happy Monday,

30 Day Challenge- Day #12

12. Describe a typical day in your current life.

Everyday is different right now-I always wake up and take care of my dogs first. I try really hard to go to the gym most mornings. After that, I come home and try to plan for my sessions. Usually, since it's summer, I can go see my kids in the morning and I am usually home pretty early. The best thing about my job is the flexibility and ability to work from home.

Then I proceed to:
1. watch marathons of TV shows on netflix
2. do chores around the house
3. go see friends
4. etc.

By the time it is later in the evening I am usually getting dinner ready for my husband and I. Also, taking care of my dogs to make sure they continue to eat me out of house and home. Shawn and I basically always watch a TV show or a movie with dinner. Right now we are watching the TV show Breaking Bad. Good stuff

Then I go read and go to bed. Isn't my life exciting! Plus, I basically behave like an old woman.

Happy Sunday!

30 Day Challenge- Day #11

11. Describe 5 pet peeves you have.

I would say my biggest pet peeve is "neediness". I don't know how else to describe it. People who are really dependent  and can't do things on their own just irks me.

Gum smacking- ahhh just spit it out. This actually runs in my family- we all just kind of stare at people who smack their gum, or food for that matter. And as every good Southerner says: What, were you raised in a barn??

Singing off key. I think I need to just saw my ears off when I hear this. Again- doesn't help that my dad is a Minister of Music!

Being an inconsiderate employee- like walking into a meeting late with your cell phone beeping with your texts and calls.

I can then make a list of dumb things like: slow walkers, trying to get on an elevator before people get off, staying in the fast line on the highway with a line of people behind you, etc. In general people who are oblivious to those around them.

Have a great weekend- as long as your don't do anything on my list!

30 Day Challenge- Day #10

10. Describe your most embarrassing moment.

How can a person have just one embarrassing moment?? Seriously, I think I embarress myself at least once every day. I fall, I trip, I drop things, I walk into walls, and I get lost. I have literally no hand-eye coordination. Hence, the whole- never learned to ride a bicycle thing.

I will give just one example. I used to work in a day treatment center with kids in high school. Literally, it's the worst job ever! The kids come to day treatment instead of going to school because their mental health needs prevent them from being in a typical school setting.

We had a gym at the center and the kids were always trying to get me to play basketball with them. Which I flatly refused at all times. One day, they wouldn't let up so I told them I would shoot ONE ball. I took the ball, jumped, threw the ball, and instead of landing- fell. Once again, my lovely ankle gave out and I sprained it. I hobbled to a chair fighting back tears. By the time I got home my ankle was swollen to the size of a baseball and I was crying on the couch as my husband tryed to ice it. I couldn't even make it upstairs to get to our bedroom to sleep that day!

I am always so much fun!

Happy Friday,

30 Day Challenge- Day #9

9. List 3 people who have influnced you and describe how.

My Parents

Taught me how to be honest with myself and others. Taught me how to be independent and self reliant. Taught me to have goals and try to make myself a better person. Taught me the importance of helping others.

My Husband

We are completely different people. Which is kinda why we work. He teaches me to relax and laugh a little- at least he tries to! He lives his life wide open- emotions on his sleeve. He is not afraid to express his emotions and he teaches me to have some fun.

My Clients

I have learned many things from working with the familes I see day in and day out. One, I have learned to be extremely thankful for the relative ease of the life I was raised in. Also, I have learned the importance of choosing your battles. It is kind of hard to get upset about your husband not washing the dishes when you see mental health issues every day. I have also had to learn how to take care of myself so that I don't bring the job home with me every day.

Happy Thursday,

30 Day Challenge- Day #8

8. What are 5 passions you have?

Being crafty

My favorite wreath

Learning photography

My camera- which I still need to buy a nicer lens for

Cooking

Kabobs

Horse Back Riding

I'm serious people- I need a horse

Helping my clients- I obviously don't have pictures of them! haha

Happy 4th of July!

30 Day Challenge- Day #7

7. What is your dream job, and why?

Depends on the day! Sometimes, I truly beleive that what I do now is my dream job. Maybe not the setting I am in but- the idea of being a child and family therapist. I like helping people. I credit my family for this. Growing up a minister's kid and going on mission trips taught me the value of assisting those in need.

Then sometimes I want to just be a stay at home mom. Not that we even have kids yet- haha. When I was little and I was asked, "what do you want to be when you grow up"? I always said, "a mommy". I don't know why this has always been what I said. My mom stayed at home with us so that is probably just the norm for me- and I wish I could continue it.

My husband and I even like to pretend we could buy a farm and not have to deal with "people". Which kinda amuses me because we would have no idea what to do on a farm- we grew up in the city. I think we are just both obsessed with animals and we don't think about how tough farm work is.

So- I am basically indecisive all the time.

Happy Tuesday,

30 Day Challenge- Day #6

6. What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?

I thought for a long time about this question. Quite frankly, it is just a hard one to answer. I try not to look at my life as having a defining moment that was- bad. I have learned many things from being a therapist and one of those is that no matter what you go through- it is up to you how your life proceeds.

I don't want to be someone who lists off the things I have gone through that are negative. The fact is- I have survived them and, in my opionon, am a stronger person for it. My life hasn't been perfect but I have seen so many young children who have already lived through three times the emotional heartache I have at 26 years old.

It is so easy as a human being to dwell in the negative. I can't tell you how many people I work with who just lay in bed and sleep away their life or hurt themselves just to feel something-anything. I admit that I am not a happy go lucky, glass half full, kinda person. But, I don't let myself sit around and analyze what I have experienced.

The fact is life isn't meant to be effortless. It is meant to be an experience. Good or bad we have to figure out who we are on our own. Not based on who hurt you, or what you have seen, or even how many people love and support you. I feel that the only person who can define me and decide how my life will be is- me.

I will not be the person who blames others for the reason I make bad decisions in my own life. I choose to truck on forward and make myself a better person on my own terms. Life may not be easy, but it is worth living and it is worth experiencing.

Happy Monday,

30 Day Challenge- Day #5

5. What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?

My puppies

My husband

Ice cream in 100 degree southern summers
...and if you want me to really be happy- give me Cold Stone!

Vacations- or dreaming of one

Being entertained watching my husband participate in "nerf gun wars" with my cousins.

Happy Sunday,